An old friend of my husband's and his wife and their family lived at quite a distance. We would see them maybe twice a year at most when she would come to visit her parents nearby. The wife was an only child, a severely disabled sister had died at age 12. The wife had a childhood "best friend". They went to different high schools and different colleges. Still they stayed in close touch.
When my husband's friend and his wife came into town they would get together with her old best friend and her husband. They were still close but their circumstances had changed. The best friend had married into landed gentry. My friend's husband was a highly trained professional but he drank too much and spent recklessly. He would pick up the check at a dinner with several friends, travel for a month every year to Europe, travel every year to class reunions.
As they aged, the friend and his wife should have been comfortable if not rich but he was still working long past retirement, drinking, living high and living a lie. The wife had inherited considerable property from her parents. She sold it off one parcel by one parcel to support their lifestyle. One little piece was left but it was hemmed in by properties and did not have road access. The property was worth something to a nearby business owner who watched as my friend's wife (now a widow) didn't pay the county taxes. My husband and a friend who is a lawyer and another friend who is a realtor in that area tried to help the wife out. The advice was, just pay the back taxes and sell the property to the business owner who is waiting to get it cheap at auction. The wife could certainly use the money.
The wife/widow, was stuck in their original home because ultimately the husband took out a reverse mortgage to pay his debts. The house is in an area that has changed and has no value. Before husband got the reverse mortgage they tried to sell the house, no takers.
Husband left the wife in a hell of a mess financially, plus he was a hoarder (a neat hoarder of mementos but still...).
Yesterday I met the wife's old friend and her husband for the first time because I wanted to drop some memento off to them. They live on a farm that has been in his family for generations. Extensive land holdings. Old money.
As we talked, I realized this friend had never visited the wife, did not know her financial situation. All the contacts were when the wife came back to visit her family or friends. At one point the friend said to my, I told her, just sell that house and buy a condo here. At another point the friend said, why is she stressing about that little piece of land (I guess it is worth 100K). Just give it away!
I was noncommittal. But as I think of it, I think how horribly sad. I knew the wife's parents. They thought she had married well. They would be so distressed to learn their property was sold off until the money ran out and their daughter has no options in life except clearing out her husband's memorabilia.
