The weather has been hotter than usual - and we typically have very hot summer weather. While walking Zoey, I spoke recently with a very slender neighbor who had always been a vigorous and conscientious walker. Haven't seen you for awhile, I said. Oh, I had the oddest thing happen, said she. We had company for several days and I was running all over the place with them. I wasn't eating much; didn't feel hungry. Then one evening, I was so tired, I just laid down. Then I started vomiting. Went to Urgent Care, they did blood work, thought I was dehydrated and wanted me to go to the ER.. No way, I went home and started drinking water. Next day, Urgent Care called , said my pancreas (whatever) was sky high and to go to the ER. When I did, the blood test was normal. The water brought all of my blood work back to normal.
Her case is similar to my dog walker who was driving while dehydrated. Crashed into my mailbox . Twice.
Both women are very slim and don't "like" water because it makes them feel stuffed/bloated. I suspect both are functional anorexics. They just eat and drink barely enough to stay alive.
Tuesday, August 9, 2016
Thursday, August 4, 2016
Wedding issues, bad manners, and other assorted human behaviors
Our only daughter is getting married for the first time at an age when most of her friends have teenagers. She is marrying a fantastic guy, a widower with two almost grown children.
Our daughter has lived across the country for a dozen years. This will be a small wedding, a few friends and family. Nonetheless, they will have all the trappings: rehearsal dinner, cocktail hour before sit down dinner, evening outdoor setting with lots of candles, flowers, dancing and wonderful atmosphere. It will cost quite a bit, but she and her fiance are paying for it themselves. Both are independent professionals and do not need more stuff. They have said "no gifts".
My husband and I are only peripherally involved. What surprises me is the reaction from family and friends. First of all, I say to friends it is not a big wedding - only family with a few of their closest friends. That lets them know they haven't been deliberately excluded.
The reactions range from strange to entitled to gracious. First the strange. One of my closest friends has mentioned nothing to me about the wedding, no questions or comments. My husband says, of course. It's too painful for her. Her only daughter never got married and is in a mediocre career. Still... Another friend has not been in contact at all. Her life is complicated but she is always the type of person who delights in talking about her children.
Stranger still is the fact that casual acquaintances and neighbors ask about the wedding, what does her dress look like, how did they meet etc. Maybe I need to re-think who my friends are.
Then the entitled. My niece asked if children were invited. I said no, it is a very small wedding. Later, I added the information that the venue doesn't allow children (which is true). My niece said, I understand. My sister, not the most stable beacon of maturity, tried to guilt me by saying her young granddaughter had already bought a dress for the wedding and would be so disappointed. They are not coming (ostensibly since they didn't have babysitters for the kids) and no word from them asking about the wedding plans or sharing in our joy.
Then the gracious. A long email from my husband's brother explaining that they were sorry they couldn't come. His wife has serious health issues. Then he said, he knew they didn't want gifts but how about experiences....could he send them a gift certificate to an experience (he named a few). I appreciated the tone and considerateness of the email. It was nice to learn that some people shared in our joy, truly regretted not going and contacted us to let us know.
I know from hearing stories that weddings can bring out the best and worst of people. My SIL told me about her oldest daughter's wedding where no children was specified on the invitation. The groom's out of town sister called and asked for special treatment for her two children. MY SIL said no and the woman flew in with her two children anyway. She was told at the door they couldn't attend. My SIL said this woman snubbed her at family functions for years afterwards.
Our daughter has lived across the country for a dozen years. This will be a small wedding, a few friends and family. Nonetheless, they will have all the trappings: rehearsal dinner, cocktail hour before sit down dinner, evening outdoor setting with lots of candles, flowers, dancing and wonderful atmosphere. It will cost quite a bit, but she and her fiance are paying for it themselves. Both are independent professionals and do not need more stuff. They have said "no gifts".
My husband and I are only peripherally involved. What surprises me is the reaction from family and friends. First of all, I say to friends it is not a big wedding - only family with a few of their closest friends. That lets them know they haven't been deliberately excluded.
The reactions range from strange to entitled to gracious. First the strange. One of my closest friends has mentioned nothing to me about the wedding, no questions or comments. My husband says, of course. It's too painful for her. Her only daughter never got married and is in a mediocre career. Still... Another friend has not been in contact at all. Her life is complicated but she is always the type of person who delights in talking about her children.
Stranger still is the fact that casual acquaintances and neighbors ask about the wedding, what does her dress look like, how did they meet etc. Maybe I need to re-think who my friends are.
Then the entitled. My niece asked if children were invited. I said no, it is a very small wedding. Later, I added the information that the venue doesn't allow children (which is true). My niece said, I understand. My sister, not the most stable beacon of maturity, tried to guilt me by saying her young granddaughter had already bought a dress for the wedding and would be so disappointed. They are not coming (ostensibly since they didn't have babysitters for the kids) and no word from them asking about the wedding plans or sharing in our joy.
Then the gracious. A long email from my husband's brother explaining that they were sorry they couldn't come. His wife has serious health issues. Then he said, he knew they didn't want gifts but how about experiences....could he send them a gift certificate to an experience (he named a few). I appreciated the tone and considerateness of the email. It was nice to learn that some people shared in our joy, truly regretted not going and contacted us to let us know.
I know from hearing stories that weddings can bring out the best and worst of people. My SIL told me about her oldest daughter's wedding where no children was specified on the invitation. The groom's out of town sister called and asked for special treatment for her two children. MY SIL said no and the woman flew in with her two children anyway. She was told at the door they couldn't attend. My SIL said this woman snubbed her at family functions for years afterwards.
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