In our new community, it has been somewhat hard to meet people with the exception of our immediate neighbors. Unlike our old place there is no golf, no community activities, no real nexus for meeting people.
This year, of all things, we met an old college classmate of my husband's living a block away. We had lunch with them once at the (non golf) club we joined, then again when another classmate (who happened to be this guy's old roommate) joined us.
So we are here for Easter again, wanting to avoid traffic back. Plus, wanting to avoid non stop work, drs, lawyers, accountants and plumbers appts, etc. to face. And that just the first week!
The community here in our "new" Florida condo has a small clubhouse for use by residents. Very small and it houses a small library, a kitchen, a room for events, card and domino playing etc. We were invited by this old friend to join him and some friends at this clubhouse for a potluck dinner in Easter.
I was assigned the sweet potato casserole. Huh? Ugh. That did not auger well with me. I imagined the worse. Dotty old people with fussy old food. I almost cancelled, pleading a "bug". But we soldiered in....
Was I ever surprised. The people were delightful, the food was amazing and the event well organized. It was well worth putting ourselves out to go. Plus, now I'll know all the owners of the poor little dogs Zoey intimidates on our walks.
Sunday, April 16, 2017
Thursday, April 13, 2017
Getting your affairs in order, including your beneficiaries
Death and taxes, and disbursement of your "assets''. Putting our affairs in order. None of us wants to face that unpleasant subject, at least I don't. I do the obvious stuff, but do I do all the dotting of the i's?
My sister's ex husband died last month. He had small cell lung cancer (or was it non small cell - the type that is very aggressive). He was a larger than life man. A man's man, big, expansive, powerful, funny. Very likable in public but he had another private side - he was abusive to my sister who hung on to the marriage until he asked for a divorce so he could live with the woman he had been seeing for years. My sister was shocked that he had someone, which shows how powerful a defense mechanism denial can be.
Then came the final reckoning...the will. The deceased left his girlfriend a few hundred thousand. Then he left the grand kids his investment account...to be in trust for them until they are 25. His girlfriend is the executor of that trust, not his daughter, my niece. My niece and her father had a strained relationship, mainly because of the way he had treated his wife, her mother. However, he told her as he was dying that she was the beneficiary of his pension (the old fashioned pension that companies no longer offer) and she would get monthly benefits. She was getting nothing else. Then came a package to my sister from her ex's former employer. She was listed.as his beneficiary, not his daughter. The listing of the beneficiary was done at least 20 years ago when my sister and her ex were still married. It was never changed, although apparently my sister's ex thought he had changed the beneficiary from his ex wife to his daughter.
My sister plans to turn over the payments to her daughter for whom they were intended. However, the payments will only continue for as long as my sister is alive. Her daughter will surely live longer and could have benefited from payments for a longer period of time .
The moral of this story is to tie up those loose ends and be sure everything is the way you want it when you die.
My sister's ex husband died last month. He had small cell lung cancer (or was it non small cell - the type that is very aggressive). He was a larger than life man. A man's man, big, expansive, powerful, funny. Very likable in public but he had another private side - he was abusive to my sister who hung on to the marriage until he asked for a divorce so he could live with the woman he had been seeing for years. My sister was shocked that he had someone, which shows how powerful a defense mechanism denial can be.
Then came the final reckoning...the will. The deceased left his girlfriend a few hundred thousand. Then he left the grand kids his investment account...to be in trust for them until they are 25. His girlfriend is the executor of that trust, not his daughter, my niece. My niece and her father had a strained relationship, mainly because of the way he had treated his wife, her mother. However, he told her as he was dying that she was the beneficiary of his pension (the old fashioned pension that companies no longer offer) and she would get monthly benefits. She was getting nothing else. Then came a package to my sister from her ex's former employer. She was listed.as his beneficiary, not his daughter. The listing of the beneficiary was done at least 20 years ago when my sister and her ex were still married. It was never changed, although apparently my sister's ex thought he had changed the beneficiary from his ex wife to his daughter.
My sister plans to turn over the payments to her daughter for whom they were intended. However, the payments will only continue for as long as my sister is alive. Her daughter will surely live longer and could have benefited from payments for a longer period of time .
The moral of this story is to tie up those loose ends and be sure everything is the way you want it when you die.
Saturday, April 8, 2017
Winding Down
April is the month of exodus from Florida for "snowbirds". This year is no different although many friends leave a little later than April 1 to avoid traffic. Renters typically leave April 1 after a three month stay. See you next year, everyone says. When are you coming back ask those who stay here longer. Depending on how far North they are from, some friends stay here most of the time, going back to New England, for example, in June.
I feel sad to leave Florida. I love it here, mainly for the weather which is sunny and in the 70's every day. Our condo is comfortable, the community beautiful and life is mostly manageable. Not much to drive you crazy except the traffic. Zoey loves it too. She loves our vets where we take her for day care, she loves our walks, mostly. I like this condo community which has the right balance of privacy. Not so much forced socializing.
Everything we have at home we have here. I have a little garden outside our lanai. The kids come and visit and we do things with them. We see old friends who converge on Florida from other states. Everyone is at the same point in life. Getting cataract surgery. Getting knee or hip replacements. Getting ill. It's easy to get dr. appointments. A zazillion doctors are here. The only thing I've had a hard time with is hairdressers - finding a good one.
I call friends back home whose husbands are sick. That is so unfair... terrible illnesses such as MS.
Yesterday a friend said to me, every year we'd say, see you next year to everyone. Now I wonder she said. I said, me too,
I feel sad to leave Florida. I love it here, mainly for the weather which is sunny and in the 70's every day. Our condo is comfortable, the community beautiful and life is mostly manageable. Not much to drive you crazy except the traffic. Zoey loves it too. She loves our vets where we take her for day care, she loves our walks, mostly. I like this condo community which has the right balance of privacy. Not so much forced socializing.
Everything we have at home we have here. I have a little garden outside our lanai. The kids come and visit and we do things with them. We see old friends who converge on Florida from other states. Everyone is at the same point in life. Getting cataract surgery. Getting knee or hip replacements. Getting ill. It's easy to get dr. appointments. A zazillion doctors are here. The only thing I've had a hard time with is hairdressers - finding a good one.
I call friends back home whose husbands are sick. That is so unfair... terrible illnesses such as MS.
Yesterday a friend said to me, every year we'd say, see you next year to everyone. Now I wonder she said. I said, me too,
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