Financial planning in retirement

My husband is still working, unlike most of our friends. Like the thought of death and taxes, financial planning is up there in the "hate to think of it" realm.

But it is time. 

My husband and I have had a will since our kids were little and set up a trust with an estate attorney several years ago.  I thought most of our ducks were in place.  But things change and I need to modify the trust. Fast, actually.

I also have found a financial planner, fee only, who appears competent and trustworthy.  He has set up a retirement plan for us.  We need to see him tomorrow to go over it.  I prefer to use a fee only person since clients pay for and respond to their advice, but they do not manage retirement assets which adds fees.  Also managers don't always have a fiduciary responsibility to clients - can use "suitable" investments, not "best" investments.  These folks earn commissions on what they sell.

How did I find this fee-only guy?  It was somewhat hard.  I found a woman fee only advisor by goggling but she had a waiting list and she said that, anyway, she was moving to asset management  That's where the money is for these guys.  She recommended a guy, just starting out. Although he was "just starting out' in his own business, and had the CFP designation, he was 71 years old, working on his own for less than a year and didn't have long term involvement in the financial services field.  I goggled him on social media and found he didn't have any clients!!!  Plus he was charging more hourly for advice than the guy we are going with.   Glad I looked further.

The guy we are working with has had more than 30 years managing his own firm.  He has multiple certifications, including one related to insurance.  I'm hopeful this will work out and glad at least we have a summary of assets, etc. to work with.  He literally forced us to face what we have not wanted to face.

My advice when choosing a planner.  Make sure they are working for you, preferably a fee only planner.  Look at fees and other costs.  Read, read, read about qualifications and track record of who you hire.  Interview at least three prospects. You can always run a simulation on line using a robo planner. There are many robo plans available on the internet.  They might be a good start.  However, they typically don't take into consideration every aspect of retirement or complicated financial issues.

More advice: be careful of annuities. They have the highest commission of any financial service product, something like 12 1/2 percent .  Planners will push them for that reason. It helps their bottom line, not yours.  They are simply insurance products and those planners who  push them are just salesmen. 

In the end, it is up to you to do this planning.  Don't hand it off to someone else.

Old and Alone

An email from a neighbor back home "up north".  Our film teacher, a free-spirited old hippie type of woman, was being kicked out of her home.  By her daughter and son-in-law!.  The story goes like this: film teacher had built a little house on property owned by daughter but they had never gotten along.   A neighbor reported a code violation and turns out teacher never had a building permit. County is telling teacher to move, tear down the house or move it but she has no place to go.  And no money. 

This neighbor knows I have a cottage that is unused most of the year. Maybe our film teacher could stay there?  I said no, cottage is not insulated, not suitable for habitation.  Bottom line, I don't want to rent or loan our cottage.  Maybe I should feel guilty but instead I'm wary.  I did call a few friends for the teacher but she has no money to pay rent.  How can you expect a stranger to take you in when your own daughter won't?

This situation made me think of the frightening situation of people with no family.  Friends of ours here in Florida have no children.  They live in a large home here nine months of the year, in New England the other three months of the year.  My friend said that her sister and husband lived in her community and that is why she and her husband moved there.  Then sister's husband died, then sister died.   Our friend said she never bothered to make new friends in that community since they were always a foursome.  She has friends but not anyone in the community to even greet.

Then my friend in Maryland told me she thought she might move to the East Coast of Florida to be nearer her youngest son who was married last summer.  Her reasons were compelling, particularly the practical awareness that her other son who lives near her currently is totally distant emotionally and her guy friend might pre-decease her.  Then she would be alone.  She explored the idea with son and guy friend . Youngest son isn't crazy about the idea and neither is the guy friend so my friend is deferring this decision for now.

A Friend's Decision

I have a long time friend from back home who is a widow and has been with a guy friend for 10 years or so. She met him on line on a dating site called J Date, for Jewish singles.  Before she met him, she met a couple of creeps.  I couldn't do it but I admire her bravery and determination.

My friend is the type of person who makes lemonade out of lemons.  Her life has not been easy.  Her husband was a difficult man who died suddenly.  She stayed in the home where they raised her children and where she had a clinical practice.  Money was tight but she was very planful and careful.  She would take the Metro to DC when I would drive and pay for parking.  She exercised, and walked, went to the Arboretum and other parks where entry was free.  She kept up her practice and at night took dancing, yoga, voice lessons and sung in a choir.  She wrote and published a self help book. She attended conferences to keep up her skills.  She and her guy friend travel extensively, go to shows all over, are always doing something.

The Old Lady and her cat

I've never owned a cat.  Never have been particularly interested in them.  But I understand their benefits for many people : they are  independent and require less care than dogs while still providing companionship.  Secretly, I think of dogs as superior - more companionable and loving.

So today, I was at the vet's with Zoey, dropping her off for day boarding.  An old lady, shuffling painfully and slowly while carrying a cat cargo bag was coming in at the same time.  I wondered briefly about how such a physically limited person could care for a pet.  I opened the door for her.  As we waited, we spoke.  She told me her cat was a "cat of the week" in the local newspaper.  When she called about the cat, she was told it would be available for adoption at 10;30 a.m. the next day.  She didn't take any chances, arrived at 9.  Clever. She got the cat, named it Roger Rose, a beautiful reddish Persian. Who knew people would line up for cats?  Who knew someone who appeared incompetent was mentally sharp as the proverbial tack?

Lesson: Don't judge a book by its cover.

Gratefulness

Had lunch two days ago with old old college friends.  It was a delightful day from beginning to end.

First, I had to drop Zoey off at Doggie Care and then blast up I-75 to our friends' golf community their community, South of Ft Myers.  I'm grateful I'm still driving.  I avoid it at night since my vision is bad but if the area is familiar, I can remember the road signs and be a fairly safe driver.

Arrived only 5 minutes late at their clubhouse.  My friend and I went to Cypress Slough and were dropped off by the husband who went elsewhere (probaly Starbucks).  No parking fee since husband went off and would pick us up.  No entrance fee. 

Cypress Slough is owned by Lee County and is an astonishing place with a long boardwalk over the "slough". Informative guide, perfect weather, just perfect amount of time (1 1/2 hours).  i took photos of snakes ( 3 different kinds!) and birds and learned quite a bit.  I'm grateful I can walk the approximately 2 miles of boardwalk.  There were people in wheelchairs but there is nothing better than walking and learning.  I'm grateful can still learn  - particularly about the trees, eco-climate, snakes, alligators and birds of Florida. I learned something useful - alligators can run fast for about 25 feet.  So now I'll be less cavalier about the alligators in our pond here.  I learned something amazing about alligators: their tails absorb heat to warm up their bodies.  no heat, they die.

So I'm grateful to be independent and pain free and able to participate fully in just about everything that can happen in retirement.