older women, alone

My friends becoming widows and the situation of women getting older alone has consumed my thoughts lately.  Of our three visitors to Florida this winter, all had a good support system of family, friends and church/community. Not everyone is so lucky.

I think of my free spirited 70's something film instructor. She has led an interesting life but is estranged from her three daughters.  Teaching adult ed classes doesn't pay her living expenses.  A grandson took her in temporarily for a few months.  Her situation is actually dire.  What safety net exists for someone like this who is living on a pittance and charity?

I think of my quirky dog trainer/walker.  She is in her 70's, borderline anorexic and fiercely independent.  She almost died from pneumonia last winter, was put into the hospital but left AMA.  Back again to the hospital, near death's door. Bad judgment.  Maybe a lifetime of bad judgment, 3 marriages and no family except a son she doesn't see. At least she has a home and a somewhat reliable income.

I think of my daughter, actually.  No children and an older husband. Friends and colleagues, yes, but she tends to be selective about who she associates with.  Her only family is 3,000 miles away. She has a few cousins on my husband's side she was never close to. She is financially secure, which helps - greatly.

I think of all this as my husband and I increasingly have medical procedures and appointments.  In two days, I'll put Zoey in the vets and travel 30 miles to another city take my husband for a medical procedure. He might be overnight.  I hate the idea of driving there at 5 a.m.  I hate driving him home.  I wonder how long both of us will be able to do this.

Oh well, as one friend, a widow, said, "There's always Uber".