My friends are widows

It happens slowly and then it is an onslaught....your friends' husbands are ill, seriously ill, or dying.

I started this morning with a telephone call to my sister in law a state away.  Her husband has dementia (as does his only sibling).  He also has lymphoma, in remission but not cured.  Recently he was hospitalized for pneumonia and then shifted to a rehab facility.  He is home now but she knows what is ahead of her.  Fortunately, they are in a condo in a retirement community and live near three of their 4 children.  She is well situated (if that's the word) for the years ahead.

Then I took Zoey on a walk through the woods to the water and called a friend whose husband is totally immobilized with ms,  She was in bed with vertigo.  Then I called another friend whose wife has dementia. She fell picking something off the floor and has two black eyes.  They are going to his  alma mater this weekend (he hopes) for an award  ceremony, honoring him.  She has packed three times, always asking, is today the  day.  Then he lost his glasses.  He looked all over for an hour and couldn't find them.  Then she said, here try mine, and handed him her glasses.  They were his..

On the way out of the woods I saw a neighbor I know slightly.  She said I think of you everyday, do you want that book on New Zealand you gave me years ago?  I said keep it!  Maybe you can take a cruise there.  No, she said, too far.  Her husband had botched back surgery this past winter and now has no sensation in his leg.

I was getting late for a vet appt and not yet home but had to stop and ask my next door neighbor how his 95 year old mother was. It's been hard lately.  She was transferred from assisted living (which she hated) to a rehab facility (which she also hates).  They are meeting with hospice in a few days.  He looks awful, said, she is so unhappy and miserable.  I said you have done so much for her (stayed with her in rehab in shifts with his wife).  Well, she did so much for us for all these years, said he.  It's pay back time.  He looked like he was going to cry and turned away.

I went into the house and asked Alexa to put on fast 50's music and danced the stress away to Bill haley and the Comets.