Women, alone

First there was my sister who bought a walk-up condo after her divorce a dozen years ago.  The condo was in my hometown, in a pre-war building that used to be apartments.  I can remember when my uncle lived there.  Solid places.  My sister could walk to everything: restaurants, grocery stores, CVS etc.  Several old high school friends still lived in the Village, divorced or widowed, so she had a good Happy Hour group.  A good enough life.

Then the pandemic struck.  My sister became a virtual prisoner in her condo.  Her son-in-law went grocery shopping for her and drove 45 minutes to deliver the groceries to her.  I called her every day, worried about her isolation.  She is better now.  Does her own grocery shopping during Senior Hours.  Has Happy Hours while social distancing in friends' backyards.  Waves at the grand kids from her car.

An old college friend became a widow last fall but was alone during the year her husband was in assisted living with Parkinsons.  She has a large home on a large property.  The area seems semi-rural.  We visited her last year.  It would be a kind of desolate area to live - for me anyway.  I call her periodically.  The kids wanted her to buy into the Continuing Care Community her husband was in.  She said no. She likes her space and her privacy.

Another friend lost her husband abruptly last year.  Her kids all live 2 hours away.  A large house. At one time, her in laws lived across the street, and her BIL and SIL lived nearby.  Now they are all gone.  She seems cheerful but has always been resolute.

My mother lived for twenty odd years after my father died.  She was fortunate since she had her church and bridge groups and a few neighbors to keep tabs on her.  Then slowly dementia took her mind.

End of life decisions are hard.  Where to live.  How to be safe.  We live in a ground floor condo with no steps.  Peaceful and quiet.  Sedate but not 55 plus. Dog friendly.  A little garden behind our lanai which I have cultivated over the years....and a Preserve area we look out at, all green.  I love the view when we get up in the morning.  Perfect, really . However, we really don't know our neighbors, except to wave.   It is more of a transient kind of place and people we knew here in previous years. have moved away. More renters. We have friends in the greater area but not right here.  Maybe there is a perfect solution but I'm not exactly sure what it is. 

We know everyone in our neighborhood up north,  Also we have family up  there.  But we can't take the cold.  No one knows what the future might hold.   Next year maybe I'll investigate options for aging in place here.