Old Friends

 My very best friends are the ones I made early in life.  My home life was stable and we always lived in the same place.  My mother, in fact, lived in the home she went to as a bride for 60 years.  My college life was stable.  Same college, loved it, graduated after 4 years, went immediately to graduate school for 2 years where I met my husband. We raised our children in 2 different homes, moving to our current home after they were grown.

So friendships threaded their way through this sameness.  

My oldest friend is from 4th grade.  We went to high school and college together and had the same group of friends throughout those years.  We married a week apart.  She settled in a distant state.  Our lives diverged somewhat but we could always pick up the thread and commiserated about medical, dental and other issues, pets and children.  We were both always dog lovers.  She became a widow very young, never remarried. For years, she would visit us in Florida but finally stopped just last year since she always got a cold after flying.  Usually she would take the train down here or drive down with one of her kids and visit in the summer  Then the pandemic struck.

Another old friend is from high school.  We haven't seen each other for years since she lives in a rural part of Pennsylvania.  We have been planning to take public transportation to NYC and meet there.  Then the pandemic struck.

Several old friends are from college. One old friend now lives in California.  Her life has been difficult in some ways but fortunate in others.  Her daughter, a stellar student who went on to earn a Ph.D. married an abusive creep. There was a young child involved. My friend and her husband, years ago went into a witness protection mode, quit their jobs and moved to California, telling no one where they were going. The daughter had an excellent job nearby in California and took her daughter (their granddaughter) with her.  The creepy husband made some attempts over the years to connect but is essentially a low life who can't hold a job and has nothing to back him up.  Now that granddaughter is starting college, my friends husband has died but her daughter (whose second husband died young of cancer) lives nearby.  My friend has many cousins, relatives and friends in California, friends she made through teaching there, playing bridge, etc.  She has a full and rich life now despite turmoil and loss in the early years of adulthood.

Another old friend from college now lives in a southern state.  She lives in the same large home she and her husband bought when they were first married.  For several years her husband suffered from Parkinson's. He was a brilliant, affable man. Until recently, we would get together with them yearly.  I'm glad we visited him in a very high end assisted living/nursing home care a year ago.  She was at his side at the assisted living facility every day.   Last fall he died.  She seems to be doing OK, she plans to stay in her home, stating she doesn't like the enforced socializing and crowded conditions of even the best facilities.  I totally agree. I don't know when we will see her again.

A friend from graduate school lives nearby.  Her husband died suddenly several years ago.  She still works and is very good at out of the box/creative thinking.  She has dated the same man for many years now and he has wanted to get married/live together for years.  She has resisted.  They always take wonderful trips together to exotic, interesting places.  Then the pandemic struck.